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No Surrender

A Rangers supporter is invited to a fancy-dress party and can't think what to wear. He's a bit skint, so he doesn't want to spend a lot of money on hiring a costume. He racks his brains for an idea and just when he's about to chuck it and give the party a bye, he remembers that his late uncle was in the Salvation Army. Maybe his auntie would still have the old guy's uniform and let him borrow it for the night. He goes round to his auntie's and, sure enough, she's still got her husband's uniform hanging up in a wardrobe. She's not too happy at first about it being used as a fancy dress costume but she can't refuse her favourite nephew anything for long and eventually agrees to lend it to him as long as he looks after it.
The night of the party comes and he wanders out with the uniform on. On his way to the bus-stop a heavy shower comes on and, remembering he promised not to mess up the uniform, he dives into the nearest pub to wait until the rain goes off a bit. The pub's pretty stowed, but he makes his way to the bar and orders a pint. After a mouthful or two of his beer he decides he needs the toilet. So as nobody will think his pint is dead and clear it away, he sets his hat down on the counter beside it then heads for the Gents. When he comes back he discovers that his hat has miraculously rilled up with money. There's pound notes, pound coins, and fifty-pence pieces in it right up to the brim. Delighted with his luck, he pockets the dosh, sinks his pint in a couple of gulps and makes for the exit. Just as he reaches the door a voice hails him from the bar:
'Hey Jim! What about the "War Cry"?'
The Gers fan thinks for a moment then shouts out:
'No surrender!'



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