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No Surrender
A Rangers supporter is invited to a fancy-dress party and can't think what
to wear. He's a bit skint, so he doesn't want to spend a lot of money on hiring
a costume. He racks his brains for an idea and just when he's about to chuck it
and give the party a bye, he remembers that his late uncle was in the Salvation
Army. Maybe his auntie would still have the old guy's uniform and let him borrow
it for the night. He goes round to his auntie's and, sure enough, she's still
got her husband's uniform hanging up in a wardrobe. She's not too happy at first
about it being used as a fancy dress costume but she can't refuse her favourite
nephew anything for long and eventually agrees to lend it to him as long as he
looks after it.
The night of the party comes and he wanders out with the uniform on. On his way
to the bus-stop a heavy shower comes on and, remembering he promised not to mess
up the uniform, he dives into the nearest pub to wait until the rain goes off
a bit. The pub's pretty stowed, but he makes his way to the bar and orders a pint.
After a mouthful or two of his beer he decides he needs the toilet. So as nobody
will think his pint is dead and clear it away, he sets his hat down on the counter
beside it then heads for the Gents. When he comes back he discovers that his hat
has miraculously rilled up with money. There's pound notes, pound coins, and fifty-pence
pieces in it right up to the brim. Delighted with his luck, he pockets the dosh,
sinks his pint in a couple of gulps and makes for the exit. Just as he reaches
the door a voice hails him from the bar:
'Hey Jim! What about the "War Cry"?'
The Gers fan thinks for a moment then shouts out:
'No surrender!'
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