football jokes
Home | Links | Send us a Joke | | Contact
Go to the footballjokes.co.uk home page





   
 





Joke Categories


Anagrams
Animal Magic
Club Colours
Come on Referee
Fans, Fans, Fans
Injury Time
Keep it Short
Life & Death
Limericks
Managers
Miscellaneous
Quotes/Misquotes
Songs & Chants
Star Names
Team-mates
The Fairer Sex

 




Jokes about football clubs


Last Joke | Next Joke

 

Monklands District Council

Fergus McCann invites David Murray for a tour of the latest improvements at Celtic Park. They take their seats in the Directors' box looking down on the empty stadium and McCann opens a door to reveal a complex control panel.
'Watch this,' he says, pushing a button. Murray watches as the pitch sinks and is flooded with water to become an Olympic-standard swimming pool.
'Very nice,' comments Murray.
'Wait till you see this,' says McCann, and he presses another button. The pool gradually freezes over to become an ice-hockey pitch.
'Never seen anything like it,' Murray has to admit, through gritted teeth.
'I'm not finished yet,' says his host. 'This is for concerts.' Yet another button is depressed, which makes the frozen surface revolve, to be replaced by ranks of seating.
'All I can ask,' says Murray, plainly impressed, 'Is how much this all cost you?'
'I don't mind telling you that this lot set me back all of two grand.'
'You're joking! Who could possibly do all this work for buttons like that?'
'Listen, if you keep it to yourself I'll give you a contact number for the people I used.'
Murray is delighted and his first action on getting back to Ibrox is to ring the number.
'Hello,' says the voice that answers, 'Monklands District Council.'

 

 


 






Return to the top of the page Go to the home page of footballjokes.co.uk


Last Joke Next Joke


 

© 2001-13 footballjokes.co.uk - Copyright - Privacy - Part of the HumourHub network | Send this page to a friend