The Pope Says Beat It
A rather devout young Catholic schoolboy from Glasgow was going on a visit
to the Vatican, accompanied by his mother. As they were packing for the trip the
youth voiced his worries about whether or not he would actually get to meet the
Pope among the thousands of people who would be in St Peter's Square. His mother
'Don't worry, son. We'll have you kitted out in a brand-new Celtic strip. The
Holy Father will spot that a mile away, and knowing they're a good Catholic team
he's bound to stop and talk to you'
The lad was accordingly resplendent in the green and white hoops as they stood
outside St Peter's, watching the Popemobile trundling along through the crowd.
Before it reached them the vehicle stopped and they saw the Pope get out and say
a few words to a boy wearing a Rangers top. He then got back into the Popemobile
and drove past the Celtic youth without stopping. The lad was understandably very
upset and he burst into tears. His mother comforted him.
'Never mind, son. I don't know what that was all about. Maybe he was making a
point of welcoming a Protestant to the Vatican. Tell you what, we'll come back
tomorrow and we'll have you in a Rangers strip this time. He'll be bound to speak
to you then.'
So they scoured Rome's sportswear shops for a Rangers top. It wasn't a particularly
easy thing to find, but luck was with them and they managed to buy one. The next
day they were back at St Peter's, with the boy in unaccustomed blue. As the Popemobile
drew nearer the lad became more and more excited. Sure enough it stopped right
in front of him. The boy could hardly believe it when the Pope got out and came
right up to him. He bent down to the lad and spoke to him. 'I thought I told you
to beat it yesterday.'