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One Liners

Apparently Rangers have added a new line to their club merchandise - the Rangers Souvenir European Campaign Calendar. Unfortunately, many purchasers are already trying to get their money back because they've discovered it ends in August.


When Michael Kelly was on the board at Parkhead there came a home game during which a fox ran onto the park. This inspired some terracing wit to come up with a chant that was soon taken up by many voices:
'One Michael Kelly . . . there's only one Michael Kelly!'


Q. What's the difference between Rangers and a Student Rail Card?
A. With a Student Rail Card you get four weeks in Europe.


Q. What's the difference between Brian Laudrup and a mini?
A. A mini can only carry three passengers.


Why does Yogi Bear support the Celtic?
Because he's smarter than the average Bear and always outwits the Rangers.


Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fritz
Fritz who?
Fritz a grand old team to play for . . .


After Rangers' last early exit from European competition Walter Smith was found wrestling with a cigarette machine. It seemed he was desperate for twenty Players.


During the last Tory government it was said that Walter Smith was approached by a group of backbench Conservative MPs who were violently opposed to the European Community. It seemed they were looking for advice on how to exit from Europe as quickly as possible.


Celtic's appointment of a head coach shows that they are keen to make a clean sweep. They're using Wim!


On Wednesday 1 September 1996 Rangers were beaten 3-0 in the Champions' League playing away to Grasshoppers of Zurich. The next day a rumour soon went the rounds that the ban on bringing British beef into Europe must be over since Rangers had successfully delivered a load of mince.


 


 






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