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One Liners
Apparently Rangers have added a new line to their club merchandise - the Rangers
Souvenir European Campaign Calendar. Unfortunately, many purchasers are already
trying to get their money back because they've discovered it ends in August.
When Michael Kelly was on the board at Parkhead there came a home game during
which a fox ran onto the park. This inspired some terracing wit to come up with
a chant that was soon taken up by many voices:
'One Michael Kelly . . . there's only one Michael Kelly!'
Q. What's the difference between Rangers and a Student Rail Card?
A. With a Student Rail Card you get four weeks in Europe.
Q. What's the difference between Brian Laudrup and a mini?
A. A mini can only carry three passengers.
Why does Yogi Bear support the Celtic?
Because he's smarter than the average Bear and always outwits the Rangers.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fritz
Fritz who?
Fritz a grand old team to play for . . .
After Rangers' last early exit from European competition Walter Smith was
found wrestling with a cigarette machine. It seemed he was desperate for twenty
Players.
During the last Tory government it was said that Walter Smith was approached
by a group of backbench Conservative MPs who were violently opposed to the European
Community. It seemed they were looking for advice on how to exit from Europe as
quickly as possible.
Celtic's appointment of a head coach shows that they are keen to make a clean
sweep. They're using Wim!
On Wednesday 1 September 1996 Rangers were beaten 3-0 in the Champions' League
playing away to Grasshoppers of Zurich. The next day a rumour soon went the rounds
that the ban on bringing British beef into Europe must be over since Rangers had
successfully delivered a load of mince.
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