At a Celtic v Rangers match one season, things got a bit hairy in the crowd,
with bottles being thrown by the two sets of supporters. One young spectator,
stuck in the middle, was naturally rather concerned for his safety, so an old
boy went to reassure him.
"Don't worry, son," he said. "It's a bit like bombs in the
war. One of those won't hit you unless it's got your name on it."
"That's what worries me," said the young man. "My name's Johnny
Report in a Scottish newspaper: "Celtic Park has been broken into and
the entire contents of the trophy room stolen. Police are believed to be looking
for a man with a green carpet."
Things you'll never hear a Celtic fan say to a Rangers fan:-
That was never a penalty, our player dived.
Although we lost 5-0 I do feel the referee was very fair
Congratulations, great win, your team were far better.